Wow. I can't believe it's already been 6 months since that last post. A lot has happened since then..
1. I started to see a Psychologist. I actually went once in late April; I went to my school's Counseling Center and set up an appointment. After that initial visit, I think I was more angry than ever. All the lady did was say "mmhmm", "okay", "that must have been terrible", etc, all in the most cheesy fake voice ever. I was so frustrated with her!�After that, our schedules weren't quite in synch so I didn't see her again.. my school only allows students to seek help while they're enrolled, so once summer started and I wasn't taking any classes, I couldn't see her.
2. I went back on Monday the 19th. Mostly because I found out from a relative two-and-a-half weeks ago that my mom had an abnormal pap smear, and was going to have to have a biopsy done to see if it was cancer. Well, to make a long story short, my mom actually called me after I found out, and we cried on the phone a lot, but I told her I was worried about her. It really made me realize that even though I hate my parents for some of the things they've done/the way they've treated me, I still would care if something bad happened to them. That fact really confused the hell out of me, so I made an appointment with Dr. F (the psychologist I saw in April).
3. Mom's fine. She texted me that her results came back "precancerous" which means she just has to go back every 6 months for 3 years, and she'll pretty much be fine. Can you believe she TEXTED me that?! I at least expected a phone call.. the nerve of her!
4. I've been pretty mellow lately, with only a few (one or two) bitchy outbursts since April. However... R (my boyfriend) has been really really rude.. like when I don't understand something within seconds after he says it and I ask him a question, he gets SO�angry and tells me I'm an idiot. I have been reacting really slowly lately, especially to things I should be quick with (i.e. I've always been good at math, but for some reason can't add correctly lately??)
That's it for now.. I'll write again soon (Dr. F is "requiring" me to start journaling on a more frequent basis to get my feelings out)
Christina
Hi! I am Winifer (real name is Winnie, but I like Winifer more) I live in HK. I am glad to talk to everybody about my happiness and troubleness. But everyone be careful, I am a very talkitive person (HAHA). Hope you enjoy my journal!
Oh my god! I am finally back from the year camp to Noah's Arc. It is fun to play around there. I�most enjoy the stadium, because it is right under the Ching Ma bridge and I got to run up and down. To bad we have not chance to go to exibits and zoo to see because our ticket doesn't involve that part (the school is so mean). I quite like where I sleep though, even there is 8 of us in one room, the room is so clean and tidy. I enjoy it very much.
When you go to Noah's Arc, bring a strong torch light, at night you could go to the stadium and shone it to the Ching Ma bridge, it is like a star.
Well today felt like it wasn't sunday and it was one of the days during the week.� first off I had to work at seven thirty and then get off at four.� the only way I can tell that it is sunday is that my mom and lil brother are off.�
I called my boyfriend this morning around tenish and we talked for about ten minutes and then I told him I was going to try and call him on my lunch break and he said okay but he didn't answer.� Then I tried calling him when I�got off of work and he still didn't answer.� So my mom's boyfriend took me driving for a little bit and when I got back I�tried calling again but he didn't want to answer still.� So I had text him did I do something wrong that had pissed you off and he still will not respond to anything.��Whatever knowing it is our one year and four months of being together he don't want to talk to me so I guess I will just try and call him tomorrow morning on my break.��
I am so tired that I�think that I�am going to go to bed about nine tonight. I have been going to bed around ten everynight knowing that I have to get up in the morning to work. The dog slept with me last night and he loved it I hope. When my alarm went off he was licking my face like telling me I need to get the hell up.� So he was my second alarm.�
pg.1
Hey, I'm Jennilee but you can call me Jenni.Even though your not a person I'm going to talk to you like you are.But before i start telling you things here are some things you need to know about me, I'm 12� I'm almost 13 (in another year on September 25, 2010 but it's not that far maybe), I'm a girl,female,chick whatever but you get the point I'm a girl.My best friends are Kimberly, Bianka, Dawn, and Dolores.They are the best (sometimes), we get in fights,what friends don't? I've had boyfriends 2 but I'll tell you about that next time but for now this is all you need to know about ME!!!
Scincerly yours,
Jenni
Well last night after I got off work my manager took me to my boyfriends house and then I�stayed over night with him and had an awesome morning.� I just couldn't sleep last night and I had started rubbing his ***** and ***** and then we ended up doing it.� The only things is I don't want to do it anymore at his house because his roommate has said he has caught us having sex a bunch of times and I don't like the fact that he has seen us and I don't like it so I won't be doing it for awhile till we get our own house.� The only thing that sucked was I left around ten because his mom was picking him up to go do somethings so I didn't get to spend that much time with him.� But I got shoes today and some new work pants.
Well parents went out to the bar and my lil brother went to his girlfriends and then went to his friend's house for the night so I got the house to myself.....oh well except for Baily.� Well I am so stinking bored and its raining outside and its really cold that I don't even want to go outside to smoke a cig.� I hate being by myself and my boyfriend is watching a movie so he won't answer his phone and talk to me.� I have to work in the morning and don't even want to do that. �I am not tired and I am by myself and surfing this damn internet that don't have shit on it to do.� I�am twenty one years old and I don't do much like the whole partying i don't do that shit so I have a boring life.� I never thought my life would get this way but it is and I hate it.� So all I am doing is listening to music and typing and waiting for someone to get on to chat with.
There are points in my life that I just want to end it. �I hate certain people who have made it so terrible and scarey for me to live in this world.� I just thought that I wouldn't ever have to deal with this and now I am. �Ever since I moved back home I have been thinking about this a whole lot more and I don't think that I am going to keep this going too much longer.� If things don't change soon I am going to do it because all I do is work and sleep and deal with being bored all the time and can't even get up and go somewhere.� I hate being bored, I hate that I feel like this. �I never thought that this would be the way I felt.��I am missing out on so much and I can't stand it either.� No one knows how I am feeling and I keep telling this one person how I am feeling and they don't believe me and tell me just to relax and its not that damn easy.� That person is suppose to be there for me and try and talk to me and not just tell me to relax and then end the conversation.� I hate the way that I look, I hate the way I feel, I just wish that I wouldn't wake up tomorrow and maybe people would really get the way that I actually felt.� No one wants to listen to me and no one really wants to be around me and I hate it.� I�always been a loser and always will.� I�know that everything that has ever been said about me is true. I�hope I don't wake up tomorrow.�
havent written inagges!! love you aal!!xxx
im DOING LITES AND CAMERA FOR CHRISTMAS CONCERT
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